Sunday, June 18, 2006

My new Tat!!

Hey folks got myself a new tattoo for fathers day.......Its a cross with a celtic knot around it. Then has sun beams coming out of it. I like it. You may not but I do, so I guess thats all that really matters. Its on the outside of my left calf. Figured I'd never have the arms to go sleeveless...So if i'm gonna show off the ink. Legs it is. LOL!
Not much really going usual.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Men explained!

1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.
2. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.
3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.
4. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well-chosen) words.
5. WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.
6. WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays.
7. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.
8. WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)?Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end?We men... Men hunters... Need go roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.
9. HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.
10. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY, "I LOVE YOU?"Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.
11. WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU" WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure-fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.
12. WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.
13. WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know damn well you'll pick it up.
14. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.
15. WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? Err... buying?

Guessing that pretty well explains it for all you women that were wondering. Drop a comment let me know.....That would be by the little envelope thingy there folks. Peace!

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Something on the Lighter Side....

Ok last post was a litttle on the heavy side. Kinda reflected the state of mind I was in. So anyway, A friend sent me this in the e-mail. Loved it. Being the Southern boy that I am, it fits my thinking to a T.

Subject: Rules for Living Down South
> g If you are going to live or visit in the
> South, you need to know these rules.
> 1. That farm boy you see at the gas station
> did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
> 2. It's called a "gravel road". No matter how slow you drive,
> you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get out of
> the way.
> 3. The red dirt -- it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color
> wash your car for a couple weeks -- it'll be permanent.
> 4. We all started hunting and fishing when we
> were seven years old.Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
> 5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod.
> Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have
> a name for those little13-inch trout you fish for -- bait.
> 6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
> 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
> mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You
> might want to ensure it's not up to

> your ear at the time.
> 8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
> Order
> rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds
> ham and turkey.
> 9. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a
> glass over ice and is sweet. You want it hot -- sit it in the sun.
> You want it unsweetened -- add a lot of water.
> 10. You bring Coke into my house, it better
> be brown, wet, and served over ice.
> 11. So you have a sixty thousand-dollar car.
> We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine
> that we only use two weeks a year.
> 12. Let's get this straight. We have one
> stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's
> yellow.
> 13. We eat dinner together with our families.
> We pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast). We go to church on
> Wednesdays and Sundays and we go to high school football games on Friday
> nights. We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am",

> and
> we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends
> and neighbors.
> 14. We don't do "hurry up" well.
> 15. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you
> don't putt on them. You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a ham
> 16. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream (pronounced brim) and carp. You
> really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
> 17. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like
> it? Interstate 85 goes two ways - Interstate 40 goes the other two.
> one.
> 18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper
> on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want
> Cream of Wheat -go to Kansas. That would be I-40 west.
> 19. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove
> season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and
> sausage before daylight at the church on either day.
> 20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being
> friendly. Understand the concept?
> 21. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It
> the fish and bothers the gators - and if you hit it in the rough, we
> these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.
> 22. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for
> driving
> an idiot -- his name is "Sir", no matter how young he is.
> 23. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them.
> You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your
> hood.
> 24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No
> The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them --
> enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating
> up the flag burner.
> 25. No, we don't care how you do things up North. If it is so great
> up there, why not visit a Northern state or stay there? And no, down
> here,
> don't have an accent, you do.