5 Questions

Ok folks there are these things running around the blog world called MEME's. Basically someone asks you five questions and you answer them. kinda like a get to know you type thing. Anyway, my questions come from Killer of Killer Rants! He is a fellow travel nurse that I worked with at the MED. He has a wicked sense of humor and has a very bent view of the world. Please hit his link and read up on his take of the greatest invention by man.
here we go with the questions:
1. As a fellow large, male nurse, and a fellow trauma nurse from one of the most violent cities, per capita, in the country, what is the most gruesome thing you have seen? What is the strangest object you have found in an orifice?

Well I can't really say that any of it was truly gruesome. I think it was more of an awe type thing. It's truly amazing the damage that can be inflicted on a human body and still live. There have been many a poor soul roll into the trauma room and you just have to step back for a second and go DAMN, thats amazing. But I believe that motorcycles contribute the worst injuries. Have never seen limbs twisted into that many angles before. Strange objects...Hmmm would have to be the twelve inch vibrator lost in the rectum of a male truck driver. This was when I worked for Methodist hospital in Memphis. Still on and still going. Gotta love those Energizer batteries.

2. You are an outdoorsy kind of guy, what is the longest period of time you have gone without bathing?

Reckon it was 'bout four days on a hunting trip. Had a cabin but no hot water. Shrinkage is bad enough as it is. After a while you don't even smell yourself.

3. How many times have you been asked, "What position did you play in football?" Do you hate that question as much as I do?

I have been asked that probably about as many times as a porn star has been asked their favorite position. And the answer is probably the same....Missionary. And yeah I hate the question too.

4. If you could be a tapeworm in the intestine of a celebrity, which celebrity would you choose and why?

I think Rosie O'donnell. Have you seen the size of this girl. Heck you know she eats well. And well with her orientation....You know she still eats well.

5. You are on a speeding bus filled with school kids and nuns. There is a bomb on the bus and you have only ten seconds left to defuse it. Do you cut the green wire or the red wire? Please explain.

My question is.....Why would I be on a bus with kids and nuns? Anyway, the green wire. Why? You always see on TV the red wire being cut all the time. Wrong wire...? Shoot i'm still screwed. Trapped on a bus with nuns and kids. Can Hell be any worse.

You too can get in on the fun of the FIVE QUESTIONS
Here are the Interview Meme rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.